Casting Couches

I never really knew what the deal was with casting couches. I understand them in theory, of course, but practice is something I've (luckily) been unfamiliar with. However, yesterday was my very first "extra" experience, and I think my understanding of the ubiquitous couch has just reached a new level.

Make no mistake, I can throw my womanhood around with the best of 'em. I am after all an extrovert, an actress, and an aries (i.e. shameless flirt). But, I haven't really been in a profession where flirting was acceptable, let alone the tool-du-jour!

Yesterday was my first experience as an extra (videoblog to come, hopefully). And a primal sense awakened within me. Every time the director walked by me, I couldn't help but sit up a little straighter, uncross and cross my legs, pout a little pout-ier - you get the deal. I just kept thinking, if only I could get this dude to look at me and say, "There you are. My muse. Lo, how I have waited." (Or, something to that effect.) If only said dude would look at me and pluck me out of obscurity, we could ride onto the proverbial Sunset-Boulevard together! I could play Thurman to his Tarantino, Winslet to his Mendes, Klum to his Kors!

... Did I mention it was for a University of Phoenix commercial?

These are my options??

I think I'm a fairly talented lady. And, I've got charisma in spades. Let's not even talk about my (over) education.

Given that - imagine my reaction when I opened this job posting:
(character names have been changed, descriptions are completely un-touched)


Sara -- Female/18 to 30/Sara has accidentally overdosed and she must be saved.

Girl #1 -- Female/18 to 30/ Girl #1 rides man reverse cowgirl while topless, then gets knocked off. She lies in bed and says things for the rest of the film.

Holly -- Female/18 to 30/ Holly is doing coke, then pukes up condoms full of heroin at the end.



... THESE ARE MY OPTIONS?!?!?!
(Clearly, Girl #1 is who I'm aiming for.)

headshots

Of course, I have about 1000 8 x 10s of my mug (500 black & white - why oh why did I buy those?, and 500 in color). Not to mention the 500 colored business cards I have, with mini versions of my headshot.

Yes. I am sick of looking at it. Yes, I forget to bring them to about half the auditions I go on. AND, YES - I know it's a damn good picture of me. No - I do not look like that when I wake up. AND, YES - I know it's a damn good picture of me. You don't need to look at it, then back at me, then back at it and say - WOW. This is an amazing picture. I know that already.

Here's the thing. They're supposed to be what I would look like if someone (a professional) did my makeup. What I could look like if you hired me! Anyway, since I have approximately 5,000 business cards with my mug on them, I figure I should probably use them. So, I stuck one in my luggage tag. Big mistake. Now, people see my glorious/headshot mug and can compare directly to the "travel mug." Two words = not cute.

...but what I am supposed to do with the remaining 20,000 business cards?